Here’s my original poem for the Powerwash Simulator Alice in Wonderland DLC trailer. Really channelled my inner Lewis Carroll for this one. Compare it to the final version used in voiceover here: https://mathewkeller.com/portfolio/pws-alice-in-wonderland-dlc/
“What’s this I spy with my little eye? Something beginning with C?
A Caterpillar perhaps or a Cheshire cat, winking its eye at me?
Or does it start with a M, like a Mouse or a Mad March Hare?
Or is it for Me? I guess I should ask, why am I here?
This strange room with colour in places there shouldn’t…
Or things the wrong size where you should fit but couldn’t.
And look there’s a house for a funny White Rabbit…
Strangely dressed fellow in a little plaid jacket…
Constantly checking his watch, what a strange little habit.
Are we shrinking or growing, is it lunchtime or dinner?
Three square meals a day is always a winner.
Will these cakes make me fat, will this drink make me thinner?
Oh, it’s that annoying girl whose name starts with an A
Interrupting my game of croquet!
Guards! Grab her before she gets away!
Roses are red so off with her head!
I’ll make that girl wish she were dead!
Oh, it’s all SO exhausting! I’m going to bed! “
And here’s the final version used as the basis for the Voice Over read:
Voice Over:
Reading Direction: Start bright and welcoming.
“Welcome, oh, welcome… Oh, do come on in
Excuse the mess, my wonderous kingdom is looking a bit dim.
Something has happened to cause quite a stir
And I’m trying to find out what made it occur
What’s this I spy with my little eye? Something beginning with C?
A Caterpillar perhaps or a Cheshire cat, winking its eye at me? “
Reading Direction: Voice gets a little weird and dreamy, ramping up a little towards the end.
“This strange room with colour in places there shouldn’t…
Or things the wrong size where you should fit but couldn’t.
Oh, look there’s a house for a funny White Rabbit…
Strangely dressed fellow in a little plaid jacket…
Constantly checking his watch, what a strange little habit. “
Direction: Bring in some histrionics, becoming more manic as she talks.
“Are we shrinking or growing, is it lunchtime or dinner?
Are Aces still high? Is a Royal flush still a winner?
Oh, I do hope you can help me clean up this mess.
It’s causing me such incredible stress.
Quite how it has happened is anyone’s guess.”
Direction: Starting to get really angry and flustered.
“I suspect it’s to do with that annoying little girl
Who’s set this dirt and grim to unfurl
My glorious realm is covered in grime
And It’s that brat named Alice who’s committed the crime!“
Direction: Cruel and monstrous and on a power-trip.
“One thing is certain, a deep clean is needed
And since, around here it’s MY word that’s heeded
It’s YOU who’ll have to clean up since the girl seems to have fled
Or I won’t be the only one losing their head! “
